It had been a whirlwind of a week. That also happened within a day – today.
Adam got his exam results today. He’s an average student who has a technical mind. Observant. Then his cousin April, is the same year as he is.
It had always been an issue for me when parents tend to over express their child’s performance academically. Because it is insensitive and it creates this environment that you have to only be one way smart. More to those who flaunt the results of how many As is scored.
April has always done well in school. Getting into the best class and etc. And I thought it was a relief when she decided to leave for another school after primary. But they all just showed up at Adam’s secondary school for orientation. So they’ve been yet again, attending the same school for 3 years now.
This year’s exam was a big one. And she scored many As, where Adam did average with a few Es. Her dad soon flaunted in the family group about she did so EXCELLENTLY bringing home so many As. Then he again posted she did EXCELLENTLY for the exam in the extended family group that consists of aunties, uncles, cousins, nephews, nieces… Of course they were soon asking what Adam got. Let’s not talk about social media that I don’t care much about. But that was the word of the day, EXCELLENTLY.
In the extended family group, MIL then began asking DH if he had gone to pick up Adam’s results. I ignored. So did he. We were lucky that other family members helped play it down.
It was past 2PM when MIL tried calling me – 3 times. I didn’t pick up. We don’t communicate you see. I don’t call her for fun so she reciprocates. I mean, I don’t call my parents for fun so why should it be any different with anyone else?
Then messages began coming through:
“Has your DH gone to pick up Adam’s results?”
Ignored and not read.
About half an hour later, came through another message from her:
“If you’re mad with your DH… why are you being mad with me… not picking up my calls… neither are you replying to my messages”
Ignored. I shared it with my Boss. She laughed. We would fret together whenever MIL’s trying to get through to me. She said, “Well, just get it over with. It’ll go on forever if not done anything about.” Of course she’s right.
So I packed my things as it was at the end of the day already, and told Boss, “I’ll just bring my troubles home,” where she laughed very hard.
I thumbed out. Started the car engine and just sat in there for a very long time. Browsed through Facebook, read articles and listened to Khalid. Then it was timely, I opened MIL’s messages and replied:
“I’m so sorry. First day back at work and swamped. Phone was silent when I was in a meeting and had sooo much to settle. I’m still in the office right now.”
Did your DH pick up Adam’s results?
“No he’s at work. I did.”
Is it so difficult for him to leave (even for a while) for his son’s sake?
“It has been this way for a long time. We’re all used to it. Just forgive him (lol I laughed out loud as I typed this last sentence).”
How, hasn’t he been back? What about labour law for leave?
“He came home last night. Sometimes he’d skip a night. It has been long since he got any day off. He just has to be there at site for ongoing work even weekends.”
Are you sure he’s at site?
Ok. She’s insinuating he’s probably having an affair here.
I told myself: If you are so worried about it, why don’t you go and wait for him at the site because I’m not the one with trust issues right now.
Well, I really wanted to say that to her. Of course I didn’t. Instead I replied:
“He’s not well right now, with flu. He has to be present there. The job is ongoing and he’s without having anyone to help backup the job for him.”
He should be taking medical leave then.
“If God is willing, he’s working (referring to the ‘affair’). There are problems with the supplies they are using for the repair work. So he’s really trying to get things done.”
That was the best answer she could respond with.
On another note, April’s mom texted me asking if Adam did alright. To which I responded with:
He did okay. Not EXCELLENTLY. But he’s okay.
I’m such a bitch. It was sooo important for me to use that word in my response.
Then with all the chaos of emotions for me, I shared my feelings and screenshots with Sister1. She’s a blabber who likes to talk about herself in the end. Belgh. Well, moving on…
She was at the house when I came home. Started blabbing picking up from the messages we had about MIL and SIL. Apparently, she has shared and shown the thread of messaging with our youngest sister, who was also there at the dinner table with us. There was a fine disturbance in me amidst all that laughter erupted. As she blabs on, she unraveled that she shared the story AND THE SCREENSHOTS of my conversation with MIL, with her friend. OMG. So insensitive. She does this to me all the time – sharing my life’s stories because it was something she felt funny about. I just thought she’d stop already since I stopped talking to her way back. I have trust issues with her, not with DH!
I questioned her then and there why she had to share it with her friend. Answered with excuses to which I said, “I’ll be totally f****d if it goes viral!” “Oh no, no I’m sure it wouldn’t,” she assured me. I just had to make sure I told her what I needed her to hear. Enough mind messes for me.
Then eventually when we had the time without Sister1, Younger Sister and I just sat through and talked about how bothered we were with her attitude. Despite having 13 years of life’s difference, the youngest sister I have is the more sensible one I can always talk to.
DH called me later at night and told me that his mom had been hounding him since before noon. About the same issues she was hounding me with. Making sure he turns up at the wedding this weekend TOGETHER with me and the kids. Asking why he can’t make time to pick up the results… Oh she really needs to have something better to do. She said everything except her thoughts about him having an affair.
I mean, she probably meant well. But escalating things for the dire need of attention. Like, she’s the only person I know who’s able to wear sequins from head to toe.
Moving along, I told him she had tried prodding me before and this was the third time her asking if he’s having an affair. I told that I really wanted to tell her if that if she really thinks it that way, why don’t she wait for you at the site to make sure you’re really working or you’re actually doing something else. He laughed out so hard and completely just took me in before we hung up.
So that was my day. I hope yours was better.