I was on a short trip with the family when a friend (A) began texting to my spouse on his relationship with his former wife, the mother of his kids. We went on to assess of what happened, how it was handled and what is best to be done for him; as at that time, his X rejected his proposal to remarry. X’s family too stood before her. Closed the door to never again hurt her feelings. Not by him.
For this situation, I decided to just open my brain up and let my mouth flow on how I see the dots are connected. And as it flow on, I realized the complexity of my mind (ehem) or of any INFJ is a maze that no one else gets. It’s like, it’s so much easier if the solution is given; and not the way how it is thought of.
Poor them. But like I told my spouse, A screwed up. X waited. But A has issues and left them standing. So when X leaves, she is done. We’re not saying that the situation is firm that they will not be together ever again. I AM saying that A needs to settle his own issues first. Then only the rest will fall right into place.
As we did.
As how I could see the things my spouse had to settle with his.
And when he did, we rejoiced.
I know A is hurting. He flew hours to get to where X was with the kids. Rejected. Lost. Unsure of what next to do. Broken. Crying rampage. All is lost.
He has to realize what they mean to him.
He needs to realize, accept that he has hurt not just one person in this. He needs to embrace the fact that he botched his life, their lives up for his only one selfish decision.
Then he needs to forgive himself. Finding self is a journey. And after the storm, the sun will clear the sky. Then you will find your way home.
No woman is more grateful for a man who is genuinely sorry for what the man has done. Forgive yourself, embrace and move on.
And God has planned this so well, so X will deserve a man who is deserving of her. In order to get that, A will need to go down to his core to become a sincere good man for her. Only they can’t see that yet.
I only wish they are well.
Because all they need is time.