Tripping on the Road

I have a new muse. Her name is Selena. Loving Revival completely.

Anyway, my other half tells me of a plan he has to be off on a road trip – on a bike. With me. But I need to get rid off a many few kilos. Otherwise he doesn’t think he can finish it. With me. On the bike. Motorbike.

Okay.

There has been so many time for the past half year that I have lost my direction, losing the sense of purpose and therefore for an INFJ, it shall then either go nowhere or down under. Going off to Australia would’ve been nicer, but no, it didn’t get anywhere near that continent. Sigh.

Somehow, from that conversation of road tripping, has emerged something in me. I had closed my feelings about what I do from 9 to 5 so badly that I complete shutdown in anything that has to do with it. No motivation, no inspiration, no initiative. A complete meltdown. Resentment.

So.

I want to pick myself back up. I have something to look forward to. I want to do this for myself. And each time I help somebody, I help myself. I need to remind myself that. Because nothing is more important than learning for me.

But I’m sure there’ll be other meltdowns too. Just only not now.

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Because this can completely mess me up. Especially when the unspoken words are inconclusive, illogical, non-reliable and without compassion.

(If only meltdowns can help with losing all that weight. Pffft.)

Note to Self: Stop abusing yourself – though, you still need to lose all that weight (when I’m so freaking hungry right now!). 

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Author: momsthetruth

Struggling INFJ living in broad daylight and pretends she sleeps through the day like a vampire but knows nothing about Twilight, aside of that hairy beast thing that changes when the girl he can't have does something that can get herself killed.

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