And so I bake. I cook whenever I feel like it. Because there is a need for it. Or because I feel like I want to, for myself. Or, if I’m not lazy enough, for the rest of the house or community. Whichever.
However, I don’t bake cakes. I make bread. I toast them. I love bread. Not baking cake because it doesn’t finish. I have to make sure my cooking has to finish. Someone has to finish it. So when I prepare them, it has to be in the quantity that is just right. When I make them too much, I am thankful when they are given away without me knowing; but feel upset when I still want them. And I get upset when people say my quantity is not enough because if it was their gathering, they’d have more food than I serve. Well, it isn’t your gathering right? So buzz off.
But today I’m upset that my weight is piling. Is it the going into 40 weight? Or lack of exercise that does not exist? Or the lack of drinking water? Yes, probably. I haven’t been drinking water and I’m feeling them in my ENT when I woke up this morning. The desire to eat is more of the nonsensical. I want sugar glazed or cinnamon donuts!
This, I don’t want to make. I want to be served. All the sugary cinnamony goodness. Served like a queen. With a tiara on my head. And covered in 916 gold designs all over my fingers and wrists. Oh, and black coffee of course!
And when my DH just called to say he has to stay a night at site, I’m thinking I could stretch that thought. Lunch lathered in Crispy Creme. All over my head and body while the I rest in a tub of black coffee. (Though I think only Lady Gaga can pull that one off).
All this comes to… I am a leader, but I lead my own herd. I get one sheep or goat or cat with me to the donut shop and we’ll have fun there. That’s my little herd. I can help to plan your itinerary. I can help create, or think of how to create or recreate. But I cannot sit upon to lead a whole company. Just because I may blank out from trying to figure everyone else out or already connect the dots of how the people are and may not like it hence withdrawal and surrendering the seat to someone else; aside of resenting some people and situations hence it will be a difficult negative parasitical environment to work in. Let’s face it, I would want to fix situations, but stupid people takes longer time to fix.
Alternatively, I may put a doll on the seat and I give it orders while I am behind the chair.
Let’s get sugar high on donuts (and regret about it later)!