In some ways or another, there is this feeling where in winter/spring exchange, looking over the hill on the other side of the lake with everything grey and white. Everything seems grey and white. There is life, but everything is grey and white. I am feeling grey and white.
The amount of pressure I had and will be facing further today, spilled over. Physically I weighed myself down and began to do everything slowly. I took my own time to sit, eat, bathe, sleep and weep silently inside. But I did not allow the latter. I’m too stubborn for that just because I don’t allow myself to give into this pettiness (although it’s not).
No warmth. No desire. Just grey and white.
I pray that I’m able to catch up.
Please pray for me.
I know it’ll be ugly if I breakdown. All skeletons will come flying out of my closets in wrath. Ugly.