Steaks for Blood

My uterus continues to cramp with no result of anything thing coming out of it.  I swiped my phone to check my period log.  It says I’m overdue for 7 days.  Feeling meh as this hormonal imbalance strikes again.  Nothing is new but the cycle proves to be tiring.

Sometimes when my PMS is bad, I would be yearning for steak.  That, I know means I need more blood in me.  Or sometimes, I’d be longing for salmon – so that means, I need more nutrients to hold for the period.  But I’ve been having trouble getting steak for me.  He’s very concern about me and my weight.  So for him, steak means fat; when actually more carbo means fat rather than consuming protein.  I just don’t bother to explain anymore.

After holding on for 2 weeks, I went on my own.  Good steaks can only be found in local hotels or in the next town.  So I sneaked out to get myself some.

There are times that I felt was meant for me.  I managed to breeze through the waxing parlour for 20 minutes of care when I got the mall.  Ate myself the steak with much joy and appreciation.  I also managed to spend 10 minutes to trying to get myself a top that was 70% off.  Thought of coffee, but walked into the shop sitting across the cafe for bras and panties instead.  After 10 minutes, I was 300 poorer.  But it’s okay.  My bras are so ripped apart right now.  Although I managed to only get 2 bras and 6 panties.  It’s okay.  It was meant to be.

I’ve just decided that I shall not wait for my period to come because it causes me anxiety and I’d be panicking and feeling bad and being snappy, and then feeling bad (okay, not feeling bad – really) and break into sudden sweat on my back at every little thing until someone pulls me aside and asks me what’s wrong… Phew.  So this word vomit will hopefully help me pull through as sane as possible to finish off all the work strewn on my table right now.

May I be able to connect the unconnected dots precisely and quickly because I don’t really have much time to spare.  Fixing things really just takes most of you anyhow.


Let’s just hope things will go well for me today.


Author: momsthetruth

Struggling INFJ living in broad daylight and pretends she sleeps through the day like a vampire but knows nothing about Twilight, aside of that hairy beast thing that changes when the girl he can't have does something that can get herself killed.

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