I had an ultimate almost breakdown over the weekend. It made me cry. It made me text a MadScorpionn to emote silent overdosed bubbles of frustration. This stress has driven me to have headaches and having the need sleep for hours, daily. Like setting the clock for 30 minutes becomes end of the business day or gone way past that. I don’t know what or how. I just needed sleep all the time. The behaviour is way past all the stable gridlines but I was just swept in the wind storm. Harnessed in the middle of somewhere.
She listened, only had to ask a few but questions that are able to draw me out. That day, she carried me home. Like always, she managed to make me feel grounded again.
Times with her is so rare but constantly timely that we see each other when I need to really relieve my strains and she just takes them away completely. The gift given by God for Scorpions. They prod, they can instigate so silently if they want to, but they also drain negativity from a situation and just shower them away. This I know of as she has done many deeds with me throughout the post, present and past of the divorce. Just the same that my daughter takes my immediate stresses away. Only when the energy is too much that they will fall sick. The testimony of life of a Scorpio.
We had a nightcap that lasted until the wee morning. He called looking for me while I crapping downstairs questioning if I had any idea what time it was – yessss… It was 2.30am and I was feeling satisfied (errr while crapping). I couldn’t care less what he would want to say about it because I SOOOO DESERVE this time out, this talk, this compassion, this humanity, this understanding and acknowledgement to be right again.
These blessings God gives that some do not know how to appreciate. Maybe they were never aware of it. Really, these are REAL BLESSINGS as they are things that money can’t fix or buy. And you seriously can’t create/force to having one either.
And although it has been over 24 hours since everything happened, I’m still trying to thaw out sleepiness. He had a good laugh with my little mini Scorpion when I attempted getting down the pickup GROGGILY, getting myself off balance and squinting to focus the direction where to head to get to the bank. Oh my God – it was pure flighty struggle…
“You must be really sleepy, aren’t you? You’re struggling like an old woman right now,” while he erupts into continuous laughter with our daughter. Sheepish face on mine. Now, this is okay for funny.
Earlier that day I sent him a picture of a receipt that has been paid partially, just for our easier reference, just in case it’ll get misplaced. But me messaging him the receipt had him telling me he acknowledges and has transferred the remaining amount to be paid to me.
“Why transfer the money when you can bring it in cash to the shop?”
Very him giving me options how to settle it. Okay, moi myself and I… In one way or another, he asked me to settle it myself (when this will really need us both to close, is not). An obvious
tried ‘ATTEMPTED hand-washing’.
“If it doesn’t turn out the way you want it to be, I will not be doing the arguing with the tailor on your behalf – so no, I will not be doing anything about it at all.”
(I really don’t have the imagination of completed product when it comes to clothes you know… And he knows it – and also knows what he wants <— Can you sense MY frustration? Yes.)
“OMG you know my game LOL” <— pffffttt!!!
My additional response: Too much work. Will be home late.
The Result? He waited for me from work and drove me to the bank to withdraw the money he transferred earlier and then settled with the tailor after. He told them what he liked, what he didn’t like, and how it can all be improved yada yada yada… Oh, you (my dear spouse) really could close it yourself right? Even if I’m not there… Hmmm… Right… Zzzzzz.
So okay, mind balance. Desk clear and working in tidiness – striding one task at a time. Counting my blessings. And a little something I found which can be true – MOST OF THE TIME!!!