Rainbow Unicorn

I asked from God for happy.

I asked from God for smiles within my heart.

I asked from God this rainbow unicorn aura from me.

That’s all that I identify myself with. It’s tiring to be down and empty. Just staring out like a CCTV that captures everything but has no essence. Each track must have music that makes you feel something. And every piece of clothing you put on to make you feel something when you put them on. Beautiful. Comfortable. A person.

How else do I put myself into words?

I’m gonna wear that rainbow unicorn in me to make it happy and smiles all over. I must move myself forward for whatever things I get to read of the news that’s disheartening. Just because, feelings needs recharging. Bad energies need time to fulfill with good energies. And the need to sustain it.

Reminding myself that I’m needed and worth it.

So I can put on the damn songs for as loud as I feel appropriate to boost myself up – with the rainbow unicorn propped on my head!

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This lonely

I’m feeling empty and lonely. Not empty really. Just lonely. No one to talk rubbish about with. 

It’s fun to see how many friends my husband has. The diverse activities they enjoy in different groups of friends. I envy that. Just because I don’t have it. 

Maybe I’m missing the connection I had with the group of people I met at the training. 

It’s so hard to find connection in people. 

Perhaps I need a shrink. 

And James Corden, Kelly Clarkson and Selena Gomez makes me happy. Sincere people. Makes me happy. 

I want to be under fallen leaves and be with burnt orange colours. Rejoice with the autumn I was born with the 4 seasons that I have never lived in.

You know. I’m tire of trying to hide my location anonymity. I love beaches and islands but I live in a city. I get lost driving beyond 20km from my own house. But I want the autumn in the park with a venti Americano in my hands. I really want it. But it costs so much to be where my heart wants to.

Maybe one day. In a few years. Perhaps. 

My Confession

I have no opinion of any sort today. Like, really none. Maybe because Pumba is away and all the vibes have gone off with him.

Let me be truthful that not knowing about what happens in the world is comforting for me. All the hurt and pain, puts me in room of disappointment. It will hound me for days where my reaction with other human race would be sh!tty, as they would see.

I feel the pain of rape, war, innocence, logic… Reading the newspaper or watching news just cannot be a daily thing for me. So scroll to read the many colours of article that are posted for sharing on FB. It gives me the balance of being heartbroken and faith in humanity restored.

Yes, this is me. So easily heartbroken. When I get an information, I sometimes can see the whole picture and a whole lot of bad people in a pyramid that consists 99% of badness. But yet it sounds stupid when people try talking to me on current issues and I tell them, “I don’t read the papers and neither do I watch the news”. Truthfully, the snippets of news on the radio suffice.

Yes, I can be mean. But I am of substance.

Yes, I can be a pain. But I am a pain because I feel EVERYTHING and I don’t know where to begin. And asking me what’s wrong, or am I alright or am I sure about how I feel will just throw me further off where I am. Sad, but yeah, it’s true.

This is me, talking on the insight of INFJ. Just for today.

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Monday Blues

Today’s Monday is definitely not normal. The blues are changing hues. Aside of this autocorrect blogging from the phone that’s driving me nuts. And also the fact that I feel ancient for only discovering ‘stamp’ in Photo Edit that is available ready for use pre installed on the phone.

So cheers to Monday – and a mugshot of a dirty dirty thing. 

Pun intended. Haha.

Note to self: Only you can make yourself happy. So go get today while you are up for it!

Sinful Sunday

I’m sitting in Laundrybar and thinking of life as a whole. Well actually, not really. I’m just sleepy and dazed from looking at the tumbling of clothes spinning the machines. Apart of being hungry.

Should be so mesmerised by this until it puts me to sleep? Questionable.

There were a lot of things that I needed to settle today. So I did a bit of ironing before realising that these kids had been dropping their dirty clothes into the TO BE IRONED bucket. Aih. It’s frustrating that I had pressed on the collar where all the darkness of white shirt stay.

Getting water should be next on my list. Putting clothes into the dryer first. Then picking up a child from a boardgame tournament. 

Long day. I still have to iron the clothes when I’m done. I’ve got some date with a girlfriend for some orgy. Pun intended. You guys are just bad if you really did think I was gonna indulge myself in that, and not ice cream, coffee and chocolates. 

Well okay.