This lonely

I’m feeling empty and lonely. Not empty really. Just lonely. No one to talk rubbish about with. 

It’s fun to see how many friends my husband has. The diverse activities they enjoy in different groups of friends. I envy that. Just because I don’t have it. 

Maybe I’m missing the connection I had with the group of people I met at the training. 

It’s so hard to find connection in people. 

Perhaps I need a shrink. 

And James Corden, Kelly Clarkson and Selena Gomez makes me happy. Sincere people. Makes me happy. 

I want to be under fallen leaves and be with burnt orange colours. Rejoice with the autumn I was born with the 4 seasons that I have never lived in.

You know. I’m tire of trying to hide my location anonymity. I love beaches and islands but I live in a city. I get lost driving beyond 20km from my own house. But I want the autumn in the park with a venti Americano in my hands. I really want it. But it costs so much to be where my heart wants to.

Maybe one day. In a few years. Perhaps. 

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This lonely

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