Blindly was the time I gave away my car.
For the use of others, in hesitant. But is was sudden. I felt robbed out of my own decision. He promised to be good. But I had little time being on that fence. Just because he has been bad before.
This brother-in-law whom I helped but kept only receiving from the very beginning. Has no qualms about taking because he is deserving. Requires constant saving. Other had to give more in order to save.
He is not, but it is his wife and children that are the real ones saved by us. By all of us. And I grew tired that I didn’t want to help anymore. This decision for pushing Olivia the Car for him to use because both husband and wife are blacklisted. So I really didn’t want to give Olivia to him; his brother did. And promises fell from his lips that he broke. To me and to him. With little disregard, he slapped summons onto it and did not act to clear them.
I’m still servicing the loan for the past 20 months. Despite my pleas for him to pay me. Despite attempts to take it away from him. To be responsible with it. Not collect anything else in my name.
But what does he care? Alas, it is not his name on it.
And how we have not advanced in this situation is beyond my own mind freak. I really live within $200/month with the balance from all payments that includes the car. Lunch money, stationery/art supplies, small family/kids’ treats are not included.
I have 2 weeks more to go before payday and this is an absolute sh*tty feeling of a confession. Just because I can’t talk to anyone else about this. I feel so blind.