I feel old. I’m tired when I get depressed.
My medication for high blood pressure is there to be maintained. Then my stomach gets so uncomfortable for this menstruation that the doctor wants me to add another pill. She said I’ve got gastricky now with the thinning of my stomach lining, because of the pills I have to take to control the blood pressure.
I’ve had 3 episodes of TIA since the age of 32. It was in 2014 (the 3rd episode) that I got to the hospital for a thorough checkup. I didn’t know head and tail for the first two. So because of 3 episodes, I have to take anticoagulant that’s thinning my stomach lining. And now I’ve been told to take renitidine to help it.
I found a reminder on my FB time line today. An excerpt of what to read when depressed. About how God creates day and night, He never abandons you even when you feel or forgotten about Him. I thank you Him for this reminder.
To tell you how bad my expenses had been for the past few weeks with only $2.50 in hand. I receive food from others without asking. I’m still fed. I’m still given attention. I’m still surrounded by those who love me unconditionally.
God isn’t cruel. He gives what you need without you asking. It is up to you to choose whether to see or not, to be thankful and grateful for it.
Thank you for all the good You have brought for me. I am ashamed to have forgotten that I’m able to speak to You at all times. I struggle because You know I’m able to carry this burden. And with the strength that you give me, I’m able to help others.
I want to be able to socialise again but it’s tiring. I hate stupid questions or aimless chatter. And I know spending much time blogging in the office because my mind is messed up, has affected my work quality. But the irony is when I blog, it picks me up on the inside.
So I will do myself a favour. To reorganise myself again and only blog when the time is appropriate.
Now I feel the acid in my stomach slowly churning. It wasn’t felt the entire day, just like bruising in the stomach – nothing acidic.
Plainly all written at the top of my head. I want to be off all meds! But… hohum. To be figured out soon.