Will someone listen to me? This feeling that seems to be complaining. Ungrateful person who has life better than some other less fortunate.
There has been water cut again. This time has been since Thursday. The same day the kids began their leg of exam. The day I was on medical leave from fever caused undeniably by the humid heat, rain less for the few days. The same day my eldest came home from school and slept 5 hours straight.
The wait at the clinic has an influx of patients where waiting time is averaged at 1.5 hours. I know so. I went there twice this week.
On Friday our air-conditioner broke. The stand fan did only what it could. And the next day DH tells me he’s going into the forest with some friends. Meh.
He had been working so hard. It’s either I suffer his restlessness or I let him unwind. So I spent the weekend whisking the kids of to his brother’s house. He was away as well. It was comfortable because their area wasn’t affected with the water distruption.
I really felt bad about leaving the house because only my mom and brother was left there. But I couldn’t take it. I was mad somehow.
Struggled with money, I credit all that I could. I’m tired of managing everything myself. But how am I complaining when my mother gets the brunt of it more than I? During this eventful waterless again situation, Daddy is off somewhere else. Like sometime last week too, when they found a viper somewhere outside the house that disappeared when the fire department came to help.
I feel unclean despite being in a house that was cool and with running water for more than 24-hours. My face is no longer smooth. I no longer have a smile like arch on my face as if it’s a permanent downward smile. My heel hurts. If I bathe, I will sweat the moment the water is turned off.
In this heat, tenderness is mood less. I feel so old. No time, and at this point I feel I don’t have the effort to even try for it. My mood is crap. I feel crap. So don’t tell me I have to a b c d e whatevers.
Can I be in the waters of Maldives? Or in the Italian farm of somewhere? I just need something else.
I need something else.
Can I cry now?
Ps. My spelling and grammar may cap now too coz this phone’s spellchecker sucks and keep’s changing what I want to deliver and I don’t have the will to recheck what I wrote.