Mind gardening, anxiously.

There is gathering tonight – again. More to like, 4th family gathering in the span of 12 days – with my in-laws. We’re feeling a bit tired about it – us, the wives of the 5 brothers. I mean, we rush from the office and home errands and all other stuffs right…

So far I have been cooking almost every night for dinner. Bringing potluck to each gathering from the office rush. Having to attend half the time to their gatherings without my DH. It gets tiring for me. I feel old that we’re all doing this to satisfy some people’s need to really feel needed and loved. Not me. It’s them. They need the feeling needed and loved. Meh.

Last night I had my anxiety issues. Instead of falling asleep, my brain went into overdrive about what to cook – despite already having prepped the roast chicken to bring for tonight. It went like, should I cook pasta already? Where to do I get the stuffs? Which shop? Best way? Oh, the traffic will be so bad for me to come home later etc. What about salad? Ooooh it would be great to have smoked cheese. Errr… How to get it? And it just won’t stop…

And so, 3 hours of sleep later, I’m here in the office.

Please help pray that I manage through the day.

And pray that I’ll survive tonight.

It just requires so much effort to put up with all these things. Not thinking about the oncoming festivities in 3 weeks on top of 3-day wedding (in-laws side) that gives us no room for ourselves to do something else. Oh God with the theme colours that we have to dress ourselves in with the children.

Yes, effort. How much are you willing to give? Mine is about to reach it’s ceiling. I’m still trying to compromise. Just coz I’m nice; but don’t keep giving me sh!t to process into gold bars.

Seriously, I have no idea what this rant is. I’m sorry you had to read through all this, cluttered mind. Thank you for your effort though. You made it until the end.

Congratulations!

Daily Prompts: Portion | Imaginary | Distant