I want to pick myself up. My assessment result was poorly.
I no longer have the strength of wanting to do things that has no feeling of continuity by others. There is no respect in stuffs I do. I no longer love my job. I hate every inch of it and I struggle with it daily. I’m tired of having to be everyone else’s mother and call center. That is all the blunt truth. An insult to my own intelligence. The door mat who is out of loop with the news because everyone else is a mystery in the department. Like, WTH?
But of course what I told my boss was, only that no one listens to me. Each time I send an email to remind them not to bypass me when handing over a document, it still happens. I end up doing the cleaning myself, rearranging of office etc myself. And no one bothers to maintain them. I get tired.
Then she gives me… “You manage it. Get everyone to help you because it is a joint job to keep clean and clutter free office”. I looked down as I played with my fingers. It feels terrible.
At the end of the day, I just slumped over until Mr Tortoise signs me cigarette break. I took my stuff and couldn’t care less how cluttered my table was. My whole body unit already felt out of whack. So I followed him into his car and tells him about my day. He listened. Then he proposed me a job on incentive scheme still in the same department, just different unit. It is something different. But I still have to think about it as any change for the placement will not be within this short period of time.
Through the internet, I looked for Hector. Hector picks me up.
And so I remind myself, “We all have an obligation to be happy”. Only works better after this short nap.
I hope this does good to you too.