And now everything seems to make sense.

Why is it that people seem to want to avoid me? Like, I don’t want to feel like I care about it because I shouldn’t let people bother me. But yes it does get to me.

1. Purposely avoiding all postings that I would know entirely be attractive to that pool of people.
2. No one wants to go out for lunch with me, except for 1 other person in office – but only if that person is around.
3. All the younger generation will stick by themselves. The religious ones among themselves too. And the older ones, have got their own mix of people.
4. One would go offline if sees me being online too. I have since unfollowed where it has given me space to breathe for myself. But I wouldn’t think it could still be ongoing up until yesterday, logging out.
5. The one who avoids me at great lengths. Because ashamed of borrowing money that cannot be paid back to me.

But I haven’t been all good either.

1. I dropped a friend who is the wife of DH’s best friend because she is clingy.
2. I cut S1 off when she asked me why I wasn’t I looking in the east side, instead of going to the west for new housing estates; when I was already in the car with all my kids and S3. Why do I bother to explain and let you talk down on me just because your idea is better but you will not be the one stuck going everywhere with the kids while also attending a birthday party in between – where all will happen in the west side.
3. I put myself away from everyone else.

In reviewing life at this point is just, why bother. My head is cloudy because I’m hurt. Yes, I’m hurt. I’m very hurt. Until I don’t even feel there is any need to clean my own room, or speak to any other human being.

This feeling is precise. Something that I had been hovering about but not putting my finger on it. Yes hun, you’re just hurt. No worries, things will get better.

And now everything seems to make sense.

PS: I miss the Daily Prompt.

And I found this:  https://introvertspring.com/infj-dont-get-angry-withdraw/